Saturday, April 23, 2016

Eleven Words William Shakespeare DID NOT Invent, as We Celebrate (Wait, That Really Feels Like the Wrong Verb) His Death 400 Years Ago

1. Creepy

2. Inappropriate

3. Creepilyinappropriate

4. Morbidandthensome

5. Morethanslightlycreepilyinappropriateandmorbid

6. LiterarygraverobberishinacravencommercialwaydoyouknowwhatImean

7. Imeanreallywhydowehavetomakeabigdealoutofspansoftimethatendinzeroanyway

8. Arewesolackinginthingstocelebratethatwehavetostartcelebratingpeopledyingevenbrilliantpeople

9.Seriouslywhenwasthelasttimeyouhadapartyofanykindtocommemoratethedateonwhichsomeonedied

10.Isn'tthatsomethingyouwouldsaveforawriteryoureallydidn'tlikeatallorevenapersonalenemywhohadtriedreallyhardtokillyouorsomethingandeventhenwouldntyoustopandwonderwhetheryouhadgonejustalittletoofar?

11.ManIhopewhenI'mgonepeopledon'twritenewspaperstoriestomarkthedayIkickedthebucketandstarttryingtocreateaglobalhappeningaroundmebeingsomekindofcorpsethatcanbesafelymarketeddoyouknowwhatImsayingifyoucantjustreadtheworkforitsownsakemaybejustleavealoneman